The Memoires of Hafeznia (4)

I went to the garrison in the morning. As usual, the Battalion's personnel were busy repairing the tanks and there was nothing special. After a few hours, it was announced that since a number of incidents had happened, the Division's commander had gone to Tehran to take part in a seminar the issue of which was to review how to suppress and contain popular demonstrations in the Iranian cities and towns.
At the same time, I was waiting for an opportunity to strike a blow to the regime or to create an incident in the garrison.
The same day we were informed that the all the military units were on alert, so you should return until 4 PM. It showed that either incidents had taken place in Mashhad or were on the verge of happening.
I got very happy and thanked God that the crackdown happened a few days ago by the Tank's First Squad had not worked much and the people were continuing their way. I was very happy seeing the people had not lost their hope yet. 
At the same time, a rumor spread that the regime did not trust the enlisted officers and they would not be dispatched for suppressing the people and were just kept on alert or involved in guarding or cooking. I returned home at noon and was aware that I should come back at 4 PM. But I was thinking that as before I might not be able to enter the city. As I was drowned in my thoughts, it came to my mind to write my will and leave it at home, and not to tell anybody in this regard, only to contact with and inform Mr. Chaychi (a relative of mine).
I wrote my last will and added a few lines against the regime and put it in the pocket of my coat in the clothes hanger. I said to myself that if I did not come back anymore, my will would be found and read finally. A few hours had still been remained until 4 PM. I had a bike when I was a student. So I took it and as the last time or a kind of farewell, I went to take a tour in the city to see what was going on.
After a few minutes, I arrived in the downtown where the governorship and Imam Reza (AS) Hospital had been located. There is a mosque here named Masjed-ol Reza (AS) (Reza Mosque) near the garrison. I saw a large crowd in front of the mosque and it was not natural at that time of the day. So, I got off the bike and asked the people who were standing in front of the mosque what was going on? They said Mr. Mousavi Khorasani (a well-known anti-regime cleric) had delivered a speech and after that the people had gathered there.  It was obvious that the city enwombed important events that the military forces were ordered to be on alert. A few moments later, I headed toward my house, preparing to go to the garrison. 
I reached the garrison at 4 PM. I was told immediately that I was officer on duty tonight. I was surprised. They said that all forces and the battalion were on alert.
I was thinking that the risk had become so high that the whole battalion had been ordered to be on alert.
This was while two weeks earlier, just one tank squad whose commander was me (but did not arrive in the city) was on alert. The regime's authorities in the city had felt that the danger had become more serious and the situation more sensitive than the past.
My own prediction was that I was approaching little by little to the time of operation and it was unlikely I could survive. It might be the last days of my life.
It was around 5 or 5:30 PM. I said to myself that I'd better to contact with Mr. Chaychi and inform him what I intended to do.
I called him from a public phone booth, and said: "we are on alert. I was going to meet you but I couldn't …"
While talking to him, I tried to make him understand implicitly that I might not be able to see him anymore.  Since he was familiar with my way of thinking and revolutionary spirit, I think he understood what the matter was.
After talking to Mr. Chaychi, I came back to the company where I should stay on alert. Since I had put my will in my pocket, regarding everything as finished from my own view, and I really thought that I should carry out an operation against the regime within days, I came back to the company resolutely, thinking about planning for an operation. As always, I had the problem of supplying ammunitions. We were sometimes given a gun (a colt) but without any bullet. Sometimes I drove a tank but with no shells, so I was not able to do anything. This was my main problem or else I did not have any other problem. On the other hand the political situation was in a way that I thought if it was late, the people might become disappointed and a message should be given to the people and the regime as soon as possible so that the revolution's move was expedited.

Translated by: Mohammad Baqer Khoshnevisan